in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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