i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
