Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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