I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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