Im at strip club and am horny
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize