Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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