Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
