i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
