Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
