dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
