he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
In America we eat man semen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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