Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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