so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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