im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
