When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
