Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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