Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
