new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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