is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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