Dual....:-)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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