I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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