Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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