I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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