Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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