I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
soo... how was my night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
