dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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