I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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