We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
