finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Holy shit dude........stairs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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