I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
