Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize