but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
