i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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