I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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