I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
