Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
