I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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