My balls are so social today.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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