my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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