I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
