I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
