Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
