Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
