Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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