Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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