You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
