I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize