So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize