I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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