he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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