You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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