Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
