this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
