Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dear god my vagina.
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