I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
