your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
