I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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