You're my little dorito
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
