you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
