I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
