I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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