so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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