im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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