He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
