dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
