He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
