How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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