are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
