Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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