just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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